A New Way of Running

Oh hello there. It's me again. Second time in one day after months of nothing. Not sure how that works.

Anyways, fasten your seatbelt and get ready for some deep thoughts. This evening I went for a run by myself on the old golf course at my school since I couldn't go to practice because of class. That quality alone time always fosters creative thought  and therefore here I am sharing the results of my running thoughts.  However, before I get to tonight's thoughts I'm going to back track a few weeks to another fateful day on the same golf course.

On this particular day we were doing 1000 meter repeats, a dreaded workout that really takes a lot out of everyone no matter how skillful a runner you are. Even so, the beautiful thing about this workout was that the weather decided to cool off and give us a nice breeze to glide through. (Whenever I feel a gust of wind when I'm running I feel like it's the Holy Spirit enveloping me.) As I was pushing through one of these 1000 meters I was profoundly struck by my weakness and God's immense strength. Let me explain a little background before we delve into the meaning of that thought. All my life I've been relatively strong, not in the body-builder-let-me-flex-my-massive-muscles strong, but rather the mental day-by-day strength just powering through all the little things in life. I never really thought there was another option. It's how my family functions, my dad, mom and three brothers all display a similar strength, or so I always thought, since we rarely talk about having weaknesses. But on this day in my workout I knew that there was no way that I could power through and reach my assigned times without some help from someone bigger than myself, namely God. That's when it hit me and I really believed it that time, I am weak and that's ok because God can and will be my strength. That doesn't mean I have the cop-out mentality of "Oh I can't do it so I guess God will take care of it for me." No. It's more like "I am so weak all by my human self so I am going to try but I know that God will be by my side through it all." It seems so obvious and I've always known it to be true but not until this day did I fully grasp it's meaning and how it applied directly to me. Praise Jesus for His abundant mercy and open arms carrying me along all this time without fully acknowledging him. Let's just say Philippians 4:13 has a greater meaning to me now. Get this, it gets better.

On to tonight. Tonight I built off of my realization that He is my strength and took it one step further. This weekend we have a pretty big meet and I'm really excited and was doing a little visualizing and setting goals of what I want to accomplish but it all seemed wrong. All the goals I was setting for this weekend came back to me wanting to prove myself to someone else including my coach, an old friend, my family and even my very own self. I was planning to do really well so I could beat my old high school record or be able to call home and say "I had a phenomenal race." No no no no. It's all so wrong. That's not the point. Here comes the next lightening bolt of knowledge... I am here because God placed me here. He gave me this ability to run and the gift of doing it at the level that I am so why am I running for anyone but Him? He gave me this gift and if I were to not use it that would be like giving a birthday present back to a friend and saying "Thanks for the gift but I don't want it so you can just keep it." Instead I will use this gift He has so graciously given to me and I will use it to it's absolute fullest because it doesn't do any good hiding it under a bushel basket. (Matthew 5:15) Now stay with me here... it's still not about me... He gave me this ability to use to the absolute best of my ability so that the world can see His power and beauty through me. When I run in a race and strive to run faster and faster it's not so I can do what my coach told me or out do another girl on my team or in the race it's so I can harness the gift God gave me and let His light shine through so that others can know the truth of His everlasting power and goodness. If I run knowing that it is not by my strength alone but rather through His strength and His gift then I will be able to spread His gospel more freely and I pray that through His grace many may be drawn to His love.